Beyond the Surface.

I have such empathy toward people around me. When they feel pain so do I. As their heart aches and longs for certain things, my heart aches and longs with them. I care so much about them that my whole being can’t help but constantly worry about those around me, desiring the best for them. I constantly crave to do whatever possible to lighten their burdens or worries, and comfort them in any way.

Though there are people surrounding me constantly, I have yet been successful in finding someone who shows sincere worry for my well being as I do for theirs. Is it wrong for me to long for such friends that do so? Back home I have such close friendships with people that I feel physical pain when I am forced to leave them. So close that not a day goes by without me wondering how they are doing, and feeling guilt that I can’t be there to assist them through whatever struggles come their way. I can’t help but wonder if it is because of a fault I have? Do people no want to be close to me? Do people not care for me because of something I do, or a way I act?

I crave for friends that I know worry and care about me in the same way I care about them. Friends I have a deep bond with. People that I have no desire to hide myself from, because I know they would never judge even the rawest form of myself. True friends that tackle spiritual questions with me, and are the first to offer me prayer in uneasy times. Friends who want to share their best moments with me, as well as their worst. And don’t mind if I share my worst moments with them as well. Friends I can have movie nights with where we just get in our pjs and cuddle up. Friends that don’t just scratch the surface. I just want the rawest form of friendship there is; where judgement is hard to find, yet uplifting and encouraging moments happen more often than not.

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